so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
