I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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