he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
