she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
