why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
