haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
