We won't sleep together?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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