WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
