wanna go halves on a baby?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
