just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
