i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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