if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
