We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
