i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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