I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
3pm strippers are depressing
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
