He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
