i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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