We tried having a conversation with our noses.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
