did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
