What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Someone signed my nipple.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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