Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
