It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
