I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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