508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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