Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
