What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
