this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
