I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she told me i tasted like america
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i need some magic done to my vagina
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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