those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
