they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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