I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
