how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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