dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
