I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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