I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What a dumb baby whore.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
