Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
