I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
