Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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