yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
