then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
