U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
