I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
