I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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