Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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