So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My feet surprised me
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