And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Send help, water and tortillas.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
