Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
