Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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