my mouth tastes like poor choices
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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