I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
