As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
