I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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