i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
