Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I believe in your delicious
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
