He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I did not marry a roomba.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
